My Superpower Is Extreme Ownership

My biggest strength is taking extreme ownership. 

If there's a way to make something "my" problem, I'll find it, because if I'm the problem, then I can also be the solution.

I realized a long time ago that I'm happiest taking full responsibility for my life. Whether it's work, relationships or health and fitness, I want to be in the driver's seat. Relying too much on external motivation and organization has never truly worked for me. 

I really leaned into this mindset in my late 20s, and the growth I experienced as a result was profound: Everything improved.

Of course, this approach isn't without its drawbacks. With my personality, it can be a struggle to ask for help, even when I need it. My "do it all myself" mentality prefers solitude, and sometimes my relationships need more nurturing. But there's always work to be done, and I'm fully committed to it.

If you're looking to enhance your own accountability, here are two tips that might help:

Set Boundaries

You need to be clear with yourself and with others about your priorities. 

I often see people get frustrated because they waver on these boundaries to please others. It's perfectly fine to be unbendable on certain things. Your workout time, style and frequency are up to you, and the same goes for your nutrition. 

If you need to, say “no,” stand firm and let people be annoyed with you if it prevents you from being annoyed with yourself. It's OK to prioritize things that support your goals. 

Sometimes you'll go out and enjoy a burger and a drink, and other times you won't. The key is that everything is always on your terms.

Practice Self-Reflection

This is something I've worked hard on personally, and I encourage my clients to check in with themselves regularly. 

Ask yourself: How are you feeling? What choices did you make to get here? Would you make a different choice now, knowing how you feel? 

If it feels like things are constantly popping up and "happening" to you, and life feels chaotic, chances are you play a role in it.

That fourth glass of wine didn't just appear in your hand at 2 a.m., leading to the drive-thru at 3 a.m., which led to a missed workout at noon, which caused you to miss grocery shopping at 6 p.m.—again. 

Somewhere along the way, we make a choice that leads to a series of outcomes. The good news is that you can make a different choice next time if you want to. 

Self-reflection is a significant part of personal responsibility because it facilitates change.

Take Ownership!

It's tempting to play the blame game because it's an easy way out. If it's always someone or something else getting in the way, then it's not your fault that you're not making progress. 

But here's the thing: Are you happy staying stuck? 

Even though it might take some work and “tough love,” wouldn't it be better in the long run if you accepted that you are the obstacle and then took steps to get out of your own way? 

Often, what's easy in the short term makes life unbearably hard in the long term. 

So embrace being your own biggest problem so you can become the perfect solution.