Majoring in the Minors: A Self-Sabotage Primer

If you're looking for a clever way to avoid accountability with your fitness and nutrition goals, try this simple trick: major in the minors. 

Here's how it works:

Instead of investing time and energy in things that will actually move the dial in the right direction, direct your efforts elsewhere so that you appear to be trying really hard and don’t look like you’re actively sabotaging your progress.

When you don’t accomplish your goals and you’re super frustrated, tell everyone it’s “your metabolism” and simply move onto the next trendy gimmick that doesn't work. 

Don't worry—there are a lot of them, so you won't run out.

The best part? You'll never have to actually address the hard stuff because you'll be super busy wasting your time and money.

Not sure where to start? I can help.

Nutrition

There is a lot to cover here, but I'll keep it simple. 

Instead of managing your energy balance by addressing food quality and quantity and making small, healthy changes gradually over time, literally do anything but that. 

Start with every elimination diet: Carnivore, Atkins, South Beach, keto—you name it, just eliminate something. Anything.  

Once you move through that, it's time to fast. Nutrient timing is a place where you can spend a lot of your precious time. If you get really desperate, you can actually combine an elimination diet with fasting. 

At some point, you will need to add in a detox, which will likely require some type of vinegar and quite possibly an enema. What you might notice is that at some point, one of these protocols will actually work because of extreme restriction, and you will lose weight. Because it’s unsustainable, you will likely regain it all, but you can choose another elimination diet. 

Fitness

Not interested in strength training and improving your cardiovascular fitness? Pass!

There is so much information about optimization and ideal workout programs that you can literally just say you're confused and never even start. 

But if you decide to put in some effort here, go all in. Sign up for the most grueling workout program you can find. It's even better if the coach has no credentials and just wants you to throw up every time you walk through the door. If you make it past two weeks and don't injure yourself, you will very likely end up exhausted and burned out because of the massive calorie deficit you're running on the advice of your coach. 

And the best part? You can say that the coach wrecked your metabolism and start all over again in six months.

Gimmicks

Aside from the fundamentals, there are a lot of excellent distractions you can run with.

Some of the current more popular topics include seed oils, glucose, cortisol, dye in foods, chemicals in foods, any type of cold or heat therapy, conventionally grown food, and so much more. 

The Combo (and the Real Answer)

To really sabotage your progress, it’s best if you combine elements of all three sections above: nutrition, fitness and gimmicks. It’s the holy trinity of “no gains.”

Would it make more sense to use all your time and energy to just, say, track your food intake for a while, stop dining out, drink less alcohol, get a little more sleep, walk a little more consistently, and lift some weights? 

No! That stuff works, and if you're trying to sabotage progress, you need to avoid that stuff at all costs!

(I’m being satirical here to make a point: Fitness and nutrition aren’t complicated. If you do the right things, you will get the results you want. I can help. Call, text, DM or email me to talk about it.)