Don’t Dodge the Suck

One of the ways I used to sabotage my fitness and personal happiness was by avoiding stuff I sucked at. 

I don’t know exactly when it first started, but when I realized what I was doing, and how unhappy it was actually making me, I knew I had to change my behavior. 

Taming the Goats

I used to race in triathlons. I wasn’t excellent at it because I really sucked at swimming—especially compared to the triathletes who had started as swimmers. I was a very strong cyclist and runner at the time, so I managed to actually place in the Top 3 for my age category a few times, and I’ll never forget winning a race. It was a weird distance that had a longer bike and run than your usual sprint distance triathlon. So even though I came out of the lake dead last in the swim, I managed to catch everyone on the bike and the run.

I love to win, and that might have been part of my problem. A coach took me aside and said, “If you’re serious about getting better, you’re going to need to take a year off of biking and running so much and just swim as much as you can to get better.” Did I do that? No. Instead, I started racing in duathlons more so I didn’t have to swim and I could just win.

Was this the right approach? Maybe for my competitive spirit, but certainly not for my personal development.

Years later, I would find myself doing the same thing with CrossFit. Instead of taking time to hone skills and lifts properly, I would muscle my way through them, avoid them all together, and try to get by on my strengths in competition. If you know anything about CrossFit, you will understand this wasn’t a winning strategy.

I can’t say there was a specific moment when lightning struck and I decided to change. It was more of a gradual shift, and it had a lot to do with realizing how much joy I found in the process, not just the outcome (winning). The more I started to focus on this approach, the happier it made me. And the better I got at my weaknesses.

Focus on Yourself

I am at a place now where I don’t really do anything to “win” anymore. CrossFit, rifle matches, skiing, biathlon, you name it—I just do it because I want to see personal improvement. 

I love watching other people succeed, and if I happen to do something awesome too, great. But outcomes don’t define me, and worrying about them doesn’t box me in anymore.

Don’t get me wrong: I am still competitive. But I channel it differently, and, I promise you, it’s 100 times more effective.

Don’t dodge the suck. 

If you’re bad at something, make a plan to tackle it and get better. Use metrics to monitor progress and celebrate successes. You will literally build your confidence and your self-esteem while you work on building your skills.